Unfulfilled expectations

Christine is one of the 'lucky' girls in this business. She is guarded by the same loving man that she has been with for two years now, however now things have changed.

She was brought and placed in a brothel so disgusting that she did not want to touch anything around her. Then she was offered to numerous dirty men, both physically and morally. She was give a beautiful deux piece lingerie (many girls are forced to present themselves completely naked) and one pair of high heeled shoes. She was told to fix herself and received a large box of condoms together with the information regarding the services that she will be required to provide for her customers, some of which too shameful to mention.

She works 14-16 hours a day, 7 days per week, every month. She is even forced to work during her period. She experiences physical abuse by customers regularly and is beaten so badly sometimes she turns blue. She is deprived of communication with anyone of the same gender, subjected to daily rejection, and has problems communicating due to the language.

Here she is, thoughtful, waiting for the next “executioner”, enjoying the few moments of relaxation, resting her traumatized body. Even though she sees dozens of men every day, she is so lonely. It is the same feeling that she has experienced so many times, only now it is much deeper, fiercer, and harder to bear. She remembers the times that seem so far away now, when she thought that her loneliness and problems… would be over. Thinking of that time now, in comparison with the tribulation of the present, it appears like a fairytale. The college that she fought so hard to graduate from, the girls at the school, the house where she grew up, the street where she used to take long walks, the neighbours. The parents, the siblings and of course the nephews are the only people that really miss her.

She remembers (for how many times now?) the moments when the burning desire to break free from the parents’ strings (parents that seemed like tyrants then), crept in for the first time. The moments when she wanted to break free from the accusations, arguments, beatings that she lived with for so many years. The moments when she wanted to break free from the lack of material means, but especially the lack of psychological nurture and affection, which seemed unbearable at the time.

She wanted so badly to be free, loved, accepted, understood - to have a decent life. Was that so much to ask for? That was back then, but the loneliness she experiences now is impossible to describe. At least at home she had Mrs. Lenuta, who was the only one who listened to her attentively, offered good advice, and was the first person who encouraged her to escape from that house before too late. But Mrs. Lenuta couldn’t know what the future held for her. In fact no one could have known. Now there were a great number of men that used her tormented body, sinking her deeper and deeper into loneliness. On her daily travels to college she met Mirel. How desperately she needed someone like that, a caring and loving young man, thoughtful with all her needs, someone who was there for her. The happier Christine was about this new relationship, the more her parents were against it. They saw in him a threat to her future. He was older than her, had two children already, a deceiver that just wanted to sweep her off her feet… But she was so in love with him that she disagreed with everything the parents said.. Maybe she was in denial, maybe intentionally rebellious to make them hurt. But in the end they were right and the one that suffered most in the end, was herself.

During the two years she spent with Mirel things weren’t always as she’d hoped. They fought often. Sometimes he slapped her, but her blind love made her forgive him. She accepted even to have an abortion, because he said that a child would not fit into his plans. Gradually Mirel planted into Christine’s mind dreams for a better, happier life, away from everybody, away from all the trouble that kept on clinging to her. Everything seemed so easy. She would go abroad with the person she thought she loved, to raise money for a few years in order to make a better future for them both.

The only thing that made her uneasy was the fact that she had to leave the school that she sacrificed so much for, and her nephews. Leaving the family and the troubles she lived with for years, was her dream even if it seemed uncertain. Had she had someone then to share her fears maybe she wouldn’t be here today. So lonely. Mirel forced her guard down, won the first battle, so the next one was already half way his. Accepting to leave without knowing details, she found out later about how the money would be earned. She refused. The thought of becoming a prostitute just to make the future better made her shiver with repulsion. She’d already given up so many things for his sake… But this was the only way (at least in his opinion) to earn the freedom, to get rid of poverty and the troubles that choked her.

Why didn’t she stop right then? Why did she believe him? He convinced her she could come back home in case she couldn’t take it, nobody knowing a thing, it was easy job, good pay. How naïve she was! Problems at home, manipulation, his persuasion that if she loves him she would do it for both of them…all these led her on the edge of the abyss. Now she was down on the bottom of it. How come she didn’t see his dirty intentions from the beginning? The family had warned her. Some of his friends and relatives were pimps, they always had money, but they never worked. How could she deny the very truth that lay in front of her?

She thought he loved her, thought that she wouldn’t end up like other girls and that she would be different. But she wasn’t. Even her worst nightmare didn’t look as bad as this. She was in this gutter for 6 months. Just as they arrived in another country things changed radically. The very next day she went to her new job. The continuous pain she suffered every day didn’t matter to him. She was a slave. He burnt all her ID papers, and threatened not only her life but the lives of people back home, had she tried to run. It was all a lie. The money was earned with hard work, and though he didn’t do anything, he got all the money. She is living a daily nightmare. She was forced to commit another abortion in order to be able to continue the work. Although she felt terrible, at least she had some time to rest for 10 days. It was the only good thing that happened to her for the last 6 months. The only days that she didn’t have to work. How much longer would she be able to endure? She would go crazy. She had to choose between her own welfare and the one of the family. How wrong she was; cheated in the most dreadful manner.

Yet she found out here that she is not the only one in this situation. There are dozens of girls that are found in much worse situations and condition that hers. They were sold by their loved ones for little money. Others lost any contact with the people back home, reported missing, many people believe they are dead for many years, raped, beaten, starved, held in inhumane conditions Often they don’t see the light of day.They are forced to have unsafe sex, exposed to many diseases, some infected already and without the possibility to see a doctor, some drink, some do drugs, some commit suicide and nobody cares if they are dead. Others are killed because they refused to work.

In many cases there is no way back. Very few girls get to enjoy freedom and normality again. Maybe they don’t even know how to live normally any more… Christine hopes that one day this moment will come for her. She needs quite a lot of courage and she doesn’t know if she has it. She needs someone to help her practically. The risks are huge… and yet she hopes. Although she is aware that the scars in her soul and on her body are deep and will continue to hurt for a long time…she cannot lose the only thing that she has left, hope.

Are you attracted by the possibility of a job abroad? They were too!
They were looking for nothing else then better conditions for life. But look what they have got themselves in.
You might think you are not so naive? So did Christine think.
Christine was attracted by a handsome man. You do not surrender.
Share with someone your future plans. Christine did not do this.
She knew where she was going to. You will learn in the process.
Are you paid poorly? She gets nothing.
Do you work many hours? She works more then that.
Are your friends against your boyfriend? Maybe they are right.
Do you feel lonely? Being lonely abroad is far more difficult to bear.
You still have an opportunity to choose. For many of them it is too late.
Take your measures of security - tell at least one person about your plans. Ask for details – do not get easily convinced. Do not give away your documents under any circumstances.
You are worthy of more- you are not for sale.
Leaving abroad is not always the solution to your problems- more less prostitution!
If you read this story and you are already in prostitution, ask for help!
You are not alone. Many other girls have been offered help before. There is still hope!

On this website, you will find organizations fighting against prostitution and human trafficking in many European countries. Contact them!

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